Saturday, September 13, 2014

It Won't Go Away

Suicide.  I want to do it and this time it will work.  I'm afraid that if I am not successful, Albert will have a cow.  His punishment of silent disgust will break me.  And when that happens, I will be even more determined to make an attempt work.


I don't want to go inpatient.  I hated all the changes and 'coldness' of the staff.  In my opinion, it's not a very good atmosphere in which promotes healing.


I hate myself, my fatness, and my laziness.  I should be exercising but I don't want to.  If I do then Albert becomes my cheerleader.  I hate it when he does that.

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