No more lithium

It didn't last long.  I was so physically sick that Dr.Prough took me off of it.


Current meds:  200mg Trazadone at bedtime.  Trazadone is specifically for severe depression.
                         .5 Xanax three times a day.  I think the dose is too small.


Next appointment to see Dr.Prough, November 18.  Thank God.


-20-

Lithium

DrP took me off all my antidepressants and put me on Lithium.  It's nice to not have to take a bunch of meds throughout the day, but I'm not sure about the future of me and Lithium.  Right now I take 300mg at lunch and 300mg at bedtime.


I hurt.  I don't mean a superficial hurt, I'm talking about pain that is so great that even my toes hurt.  No kisses to heal this.  I already ache all the time with fibro pain and this is not just more than that.  I'm talking about joint pain.  It's a small window to the pain of arthritis.  sigh


I am also tired.  I simply hit a wall around 2pm.  I can't stay awake even if I try.


I'm supposed to keep hydrated so I'm back on mega glasses of Crystal Light.  It's ok but what goes in must go out and I'm constantly in the bathroom. 


Good thing (DrB always tell me to find the good) so the price of Lithium is $1.50 per month.  Crazy!


Hopefully all this pain will subside in a few weeks.  Meanwhile, I am pretty miserable.

I am dying inside

I hate it!


It eats away at my inner self.


It convinces me that I am worthless.  I think, therefore I am.  Good for nothing.  Run and do this.  Run and do that.  Never mind that I might want to do something for myself.  Run, clean, tidy-up, keep up the impression that I am fine.  Get out, go to the store, take no time for myself.  do, do, do


I am dying inside


It's just a matter of time before I stop completely, unable to go or do or give anymore.


I am dying inside and no one is noticing